The Habit Builder: Lesson 1 – Picking the Right Habit
A Simple System to Choose, Store, and Stick with Habits That Last
You want better habits.
A healthier body.
A sharper mind.
More control over your time.
But habits are tricky. They either feel like too much effort, something you’ll start tomorrow, or you thought they were easy to start—but for some reason, you just keep missing them.
Most people struggle in the beginning because they either:
Try to change everything at once (and burn out quickly), or
Rely on motivation alone (which fades faster than it arrives).
Yes, motivation is essential (hot take), but you shouldn’t rely solely on yourself to stay motivated. You need something—a system, perhaps—to help you stay on track.
This post is part of a series I’m calling The Habit Builder, where I break down how to choose, track, and stick with habits that actually last. This is the FIRST LESSON.
The First Lesson: How To and What Habit to Pick
If you’re serious about building habits, you want real, lasting change. The last thing you need is to feel overwhelmed.
And one of the crucial things to realize in the beginning of your habit building journey is that it’s not just about forming a new habit
It’s about training yourself to be consistent.
In fact, the first and most essential habit to develop is
Consistency itself.
One of the biggest enemies of consistency is feeling overwhelmed and scattered. And what leads to those?
1️⃣ A lack of awareness of where you are in your journey
2️⃣ A lack of self-awareness about how much you can realistically handle
The purpose of your first habit goes beyond the habit itself—it’s your first step in cultivating commitment to your decisions and your first step in discovering how much you can handle.
To do that effectively, you need a system to support your consistency. As what I always say, systems are our training wheels, it gives us a head start at something.
What I’m about to share is the first part of how I ensure my consistency—staying motivated while also easing my way into new habits without unnecessary pressure.
Another thing I like about this system is that it allows me to pick my new habit to earn more consciously .
Enter: The Bank
When I start a new habit, I store it in what I call The Bank—a table where I list all the habits I want to build.
Each habit comes with a goal: how long I need to be consistent before I consider it locked in.
I track my progress daily, and once I feel a habit has truly stuck, I cross it out from the bank, and that’s when I pick out a new one. This gives me a clear overview of how many habits I’ve completed and how many more I still want to learn.
But The Bank isn’t just a tracking tool.
It also gives you something just as valuable: a sense of progress. Seeing your completed habits fuels you to keep going.
To keep things structured, The Bank is divided into Habit Vaults, each focusing on a key area of life.
This features allow to to make sure that the habit I am building is for the goal of being a more rounded person.
The Habit Vaults
🔹 Mind
Habits that enrich your thinking, sharpen focus, and boost curiosity. Reading, learning new skills, or practicing mindfulness fall into this category.
🔹 Body
Habits that prioritize your physical well-being. Exercise, proper nutrition, rest, and self-care help you stay energized and strong.
🔹 Soul
Habits that nurture your inner self, bringing balance, peace, and fulfillment. This could be journaling, meditation, gratitude, or reading the bible, having a daily prayer schedule.
It’s up to you what you put here to care for your spiritual self.
You can choose habits from these categories in any way that suits you and the sequence of these categories aren’t also that important.
Some people start with one habit from Mind, then add two from Body and Soul before introducing a fourth that ties them all together. Others mix it differently. The key is balance—ensuring you’re growing in all areas of life.
Why this System Works
Most habit-building systems focus on individual actions, but The Bank works because it focuses on long-term consistency and momentum. Here’s why it’s so effective:
1️⃣ It Creates a Sense of Progress
Tracking your habits visually helps you see growth in real-time. Even on days when motivation dips, you can look at The Bank and think, I’ve already come this far—I can keep going. Seeing past wins makes future success feel inevitable.
2️⃣ It Focuses on Identity, Not Just Tasks
Most people chase habits to reach a goal (e.g., I want to lose weight), but lasting change comes from shifting identity (I am someone who takes care of my health). The Habit Vaults reinforce this by helping you develop a well-rounded lifestyle, not just a checklist of tasks.
3️⃣ It Balances Structure with Flexibility
The Habit Vaults ensure that you’re growing in different areas—Mind, Body, and Soul—without feeling trapped in a rigid routine. You can adapt and adjust while still maintaining progress.
4️⃣It Trains You to Trust Yourself
Every habit you complete builds trust in yourself. You prove that you can commit and follow through. The more habits you lock in, the stronger your belief in your own consistency becomes.
At its core, The Bank isn’t just about tracking habits—it’s about building the skill of consistency, step by step, in a way that feels rewarding instead of exhausting.
What Habits Should You Start?
Choosing the right habits is like deciding where to invest your first deposits. Not all habits are created equal. If you’re unsure where to start, begin with these categories:
1. Keystone Habits (The Ones That Create a Domino Effect)
These improve multiple areas of life at once: this is like what I mentioned earlier why I chose sleep to be my first habit.
Exercise → Boosts energy, mood, and discipline.
Daily Writing → Sharpens thinking, builds consistency.
Waking Up Early → Gives you more control over your day.
Meal Planning → Saves time, improves health, reduces decision fatigue.
2. Identity-Based Habits (The Ones That Shape Who You Are)
Don’t just focus on outcomes (e.g., "I want to read more"). Focus on identity (e.g., "I am a reader").
"I am a writer" → Write 100 words daily.
"I am a fit person" → Walk 10 minutes every morning.
"I am a calm person" → Meditate for 2 minutes before bed.
3. Tiny But Powerful Habits (The Ones That Are Impossible to Fail)
Big changes start small. Instead of overwhelming yourself, begin with:
One Page a Day (Instead of "Read 30 minutes a day")
One Push-Up (Instead of "Go to the gym daily")
Flossing One Tooth (Instead of "Floss every night")
These feel too easy to fail—but that’s the point. They create momentum. Once you start, you’ll naturally do more.
What’s Next?
Next time, I’ll share how I track my progress daily and the methods I use to stay committed and consistent with the habits in my Bank.
For now, what habit will you start today? Reply and let me know!
I'm also working on a complete habit-tracking template, packed with all the tips and guides I’ve shared here—plus more. It will include how I log and track my progress, the systems I use to stay consistent, and the tools I’ve refined over the years to make habits stick.
Spoiler: Just like my to-do list, my habit-tracking system is written by hand.
These days, I prefer a pen-and-paper setup in my notebook, but I also have a digital template for iPads or written notes.
The bank and all i just shared is the first part of this system
What Would You Like to Read Next?
That is all for today! Wishing you all a great week ahead! Thank you so much for reading up until here! 😊
- Frey
All my content is currently free, but if you’d like to support my work, you can buy me a coffee on Ko-Fi! ☕✨ Every bit helps me keep creating. Thank you! 💛
Thanks for reading, and see you in the comments. 😊